h o n e s t y.

so to come clean i've been having a rough time emotionally lately. i am pretty sure i have suffered a bit from postpartum depression since i had my youngest chloe. it has really interfered with my everyday tasks, my work, and the enjoyment of my family. i think i finally hit a breaking point because i was finally honest to a group of my close friends the other day. i think the hardest part was admitting that i felt like a sham. i always put on a happy face and to be honest... i am exhausted. i am too tired to keep the happy face on.

after getting all of these yucky thoughts and feelings out that i had been holding onto in the effort that no one noticed what a hot mess i was, i feel 100% like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. after releasing these feelings to a wonderful group of women i have collected over the years i realize how wonderful they are and how much i need them in my life. i have spent so much time keeping friends at arms length that i spent much of the last few years not trusting that these women would really like the real me. even my closest mommy friend, who came to my rescue the other day and help pull me out of this mess, was never given the benefit of knowing all of me. i felt so bad that i had not trusted her friendship enough to confide in her, but no that i have i value her and her friendship more than i ever new possible. with a cup of coffee, veggies and dip, and a good cry she helped pull me out of the funk.

thank you ladies, you know who you are for helping me find some clarity :)

i have decided to take things at a slow pace for a while. spend more time enjoying my children. they are growing up so fast and i feel like i am missing it. take more pictures for me, not just my shop and of the things i make. more pictures of the girls... for me and the family, for our future and our memories.

when i feel the hot mess creeping up again... i am going to trust my friendships and share the good and the bad... so it doesn't affect me this way again.